danny_for_a_thought

I will try....to fix it

2010-03-04T15:18:00.002+08:00

Its been a long while since i last blog..lots of things happened that i dont even know where to start at times. Each day past by, i try to be the best that i can for myself, my wife, my baby..for us basically.

It can stressful to be me when you have tried so hard but unexpected things keep occuring. I dont knwo if its a test for me to overcome my obstacles..they say, HE test us to make us the person HE wants us to be...i pray tat i will overcome all obstacles calmly and smoothly.

at times, it feels like its me agaisnt the world..i have numerous critics saying a lot of harshful words at me..and at times, it feels helpless..only He knows how i swallowed the painful words, swallowed the blames, the pain and much more.

I keep a lot of things. Sleep is not sleep anymore. No one asked me if i ever needed any help. Sice my dad passed away,i been on my own almost everytime. everyone just presumes that i am ok..smiling all the times. the pain of failing is excrutiating. What more, having to swallow painful moments right at the face.

At tis point, im fixing every leak there is..Its slow and at times, some things are just not within my control. I hate it as i like to be in control of a situation. few things have already undergone changes. Business wise, few things are coming up.surprises..cant say it out yet as if things do not work out, it be "BACK AT ME" kinda thing..work wise, well, at times being in the working world is better. we see how that works work. Lil bit of both world wouldnt hurt.

Perserverance is the word..i just want to prove people wrong..for now, i will just fix it.

me

2009-09-25T10:26:00.002+08:00

Title: SHow me the Money!!!!

"Show me the money!!"..i love that line from the movie Jerry Maguire...everybody knows that line when you talk about the movie Jerry Maguire...well, gotta admit, its one of my all time favourite movie...

Story of a man's struggle when he accidentally quits his job,his love and his one problematic client...heart warming movie...he was sky high before fallling and he started back from basic and struggle thru his one client...no need to say more..cos im sure everyone knows the storyline...

its easy for me to relate to that movie to be honest...a man's struggles with his job when he suddenly needed to start from basic..his frustation and disappointment...cos there are times when we know we try and already work so hard for something but it didnt work out as planned...well, disappointment after disappointment...and its the last thing that one actually want to feel..."Show me the money!!" show me the money!!" yeah..im saying it with all my heart...and yeah i love his sport mentors advices.."if here is empty (he was touching his heart) here doesnt matter..(he refers to his head after that)"..

The good thing about the movie was Jerry Maguire made it eventually..his struggle paid off..they say, if its not all right,then its not the end...somehow, watching that movie again gave hope and glimmer of inspiration...yeah..its true they say, when you're down there, whatever you say doesnt matter...in life,been up there and down as well...and i learn a considerable amount of bitter sweet things of life..life is a wheel..the wheel will turn as long as we have the drive to strive....it will turn...eventually..

space out

me

2009-09-16T11:20:00.000+08:00

Title: Show me the money...

Ramadan is almost over..3more days left.this is one Ramadan i wont forget..t reminds me of times when dad wasnt arnd and when times are tuff..Things happened one after another..hurtful words were exchanged and so much emotional,mental, physical and spiritual im tested as well..

i would say that even though some things are a lil disorganised, bit by bit i have begun to settle things down..Van issues as been settled and its back on the road..Im more focus on settling things that are important by prioritising my work. It doesnt matter if i have to work a lil later than usual.I will get things back up and running again and have re-structured certain matters..Budget defesit and others important issues. I will live simply but adequetly and provide adequately till the end of the year just to re-structure finance..just like how the goverment re-sturctures the economy, i re-strcuture mine.

I am much more confident of whats needed to be done and have learn certain important things..While i get important tings done til the end of the yr..some things will run for itself..

this ramadan is indeed a sad one for me..HE knows my silent prayer..Faith, patience and wisdom tested over and over again and I keep reminding myself that HE wont test HIS followers beyond their capabilities.its written in the Quran.

Raya is just few days away, i will get some things done and despite some things stil a lil uncertain, i believe i will be ok. Certain things did hurt but it certainly made me stronger.

To Allah: I did ask for strength and patience and YOU gave me the opportunity to have strength and patience :)

To my wife: I am working hard for us and thank you for your patience..i love you.pls dont ever doubt that..you all i need..i love you.

To all : Sekiranya ade silap and terkasar bahasa, me and my wife take this chance di bulan mulia to mohon maaf..Moga kita semua diberkati rahmat NYA sentiasa..

Selamat Aidilfitri..maaf zahir dan batin..

Space out & assalamualaikum..

me

2009-09-12T10:00:00.000+08:00

Title: The High and Low of life

As mentioned, this Ramadan is full of challenges for me..one thing after another..been on the highs of life b4 and now is the low...only He knows what i feel everyday...i pray to Him everday,asking for patience and strength..

For this month, apart from the challenges, a lot of hurtful words were exchanged to me..some having significant impact to point where i dont sleep soo much, i dont eat soo much,talked soo much and those words would keep playing in the head.at times, i feel im going thru depression.the same state when dad was very sick..having to make all the right decisions but carrying the burden of that decision..i rather not drive as i cant focus soo much on the road either..

for 1st time after yrs, i feel im sinking in a quicksand..and for the 1st time,i have to admit, i fall..my wife is being very patient and has been the one to pull me up slowly..that too, i can see wearyness and sadness in her eyes..im sorry she had to go thru this..we will pull thru..the rise will fall and fallen will rise again..life is a wheel they say..

None of what happened and none was expected..now i only have myself and myself to prove again that i can pull this thru...been thru it b4...and will go thru it again..

challenged mental, emotionally and physically..i will not concede when life is testing n pushing me...i will rise again slowly but surely...

to my wife: i love you and thank you from the deepest of my heart..we will pull thru this for sure.

to all,

space out..

me

2009-08-29T12:27:00.002+08:00

Title: When the tuff gets going..

i dont come from a wealthy family.neither do i dont grow up with a lot of luxury items around me...i had my 1st nike sneakers when i 17..dat too i bought it from working as a park attendant during my poly school break..my 1st levis at 17 as well.. (if i get the facts right here) also from working as a part time attendant...and believe me i only had my 1st gucci shoe and mont blanc accessories recently.that too, courtesy of my dear wife.. i never step foot inside a designer store till i met my wife and i never bought anything from a designer store till i was wif her as well..laugh if you want too but it was life that taught me that way...i always have the mindset of "if i cld get the somthing of the same function for a lower price..why not?"

my late dad worked as a police officer and he often had to overtime and work extra hours so he could bring back JUST enuff for us..that too at times, things at times were insufficient.he packed his food everyday from home..back then i always tell him to buy..i didnt understnd how tuff life was for him..

as a child ,too, i always envied children that has bigger houses,a hot shower in their bathroom, lots of toys,who gets $2 to school instead of $0.50 and many more..i remembered those cries as a kid when i wanted a toy soo bad and dad couldnt afford it..toys were more of rewards back then for studying really hard...in primary school days, toys were the only reasons why i studied really hard..ocassionally, my late aunt would get me toy or two..n that was it...as a kid you dont undestand the value of hardship or how tuff life is for your parents to make end meets...

" ayah belikan kalau kau dapat top 5 dalam kelas" ( "dad will buy you if your the top 5 in your class") ....that was my motivation...it was tuff..neither was i a born genius till i was primary 4 where things suddenly got clearer...fractions,multiplication, grammers,nouns and things that were soo tuff b4 got easy..i understood all of it always got the 1st 3 in class..i got my Optimus Prime at primary 4..my fav toy that i eyed for years...it came with the back cargo trailer wif a car and a gun to it..i always cherish that n wished i still have it rite now..

then in secondary, things were different..it was tuffer..$3 a day? what can u buy?its either i eat during recess or save it for lunch remedials later plus there were the class funds,worksheets to pay n all that stuff. tuff to make do wif $3..i often ask for more from my mom which would end up she arguing wif my dad...most of the times..i skipped recess to save up for after school remedials..if im too hungry, i just have bread and coke..which cost about $0.80 which leaves $2.20 for after school remedials or soccer..that was for 4 yrs in sec school..i got several scholarships and bursaries which were used wisely...

poly..was either $4 or $5 a day..barely enuff, as cost materials are much more expensive..still i envied my poly mates who has cash to spare for movies and mcdonalds and many more that were considered "luxury"...i dont wear levis tees or jeans, i dun carry designer bags like my poly mates back then but only wore cheap jeans with no brands,carried a nike bag that i bought from working at Revenue House while waiting for my Os results..it was tuff when you have rich classmates that sits at starbucks, coffee beans each time during breaks...i wanted to work part time after schools but my dad would never allow me to as he kept telling me it was his responsibilities and i am only allowed to do so during term breaks..that was when i bought my 1st few "luxury" items...working as a park attendent or in factories..

while all time, i did learn to save up and as i grew older, understood how tuff earning a living is..
things were smooth when i got my 1st real work as a service engineer.$1.5K..i manage to put aside money for savings, mom, trsport and some entertaintment..till dad got really sick...took too many leave to take him to and fro the hospital that eventually my pay was cut..n i still remember when he told me he had not enuff to pay up for the M.R.I and CT scan which amounted up to certain amount..sis forked out 500 and i forked out the remaining..almost half my savings wiped out in a day..

when he got admitted, things got tighter..it got worse when he past aways..bearing the guitly fof makingthe final decision was already tuff,the unpaid leaves left me only wif $900 to take home...only god knows how tight was it everyday...at work, things were not any better as ppl started to complain about me not being there n eventually situation forced me to resign...that was one of the tightest and down moments in life..i will remember it always..juggling emotional , mental n finance challenges....i got out of it and eventually things improved..

looking back, i do know what he meant when he said "you will only know when you got thru it"..dad grabbed my hand n showed a thumbs up saying "i can do it" before moving on.i managed to talk to him one nite b4 he passed away on what he told me the sacrifies he made..as a child i didnt understand what a husband and a dad has to do......

now,im married now to a lovely woman n i finaly understood what a husband has to sacrifies.i am prepapred to give up my own pleasire for my wife. it was my promise to her..i have my own company n despite the problems i face and mistakes made in this venture, i have learnt dearly and making things right...it gona take some time..a month or two, max 3 to get back things running up...but what life taught me...i should persevere when you believe you gonna make it...n thats what i do..cos at the end of the day...its past experience that made me wiser and stronger...n i will get thru tis even when the goings gets tuff...

to my mom: thank you for your patience and all the hardships you got into in bringin me up..i love you..

to my late dad: its true. only when you are in it, you understand..n im prepare for things to come..i wont give up cos it my promise to u to uphold the name..i love you..

to my wondeful wife: my source of inspiration...her patience will be paid off insyallah..im sorry for any "kekurangan"...it will improve and we will avoid making the mistakes we made in the company..im working what i promised you. i love you..

with love,

me

2009-04-12T09:52:00.002+08:00

Title: Sometimes when we touch...

Never overlook the power of touch..proven by numerous research - they have shown that touch is a powerful tool that heals emotionally and spiritually.

Babies that are hugged, held and kissed develop healthier emotional life than those that are left without any physical contact. A physical touch between two lovers can make or break a relationship.Touch communicates love or hate. The message a touch sends out is far louder than the words "I love you" or "I hate you"..it is an action that speaks itself..whether its holding hands, kissing, embracing or more it speaks the emotional love to one's partner. To most, without it, one may feel unloved..With it, the emotional tank is filled and they will feel much more secure..

I remember reading this article in a column where a husband and a wife withdrew themselves sexually due to some martial problems and whatever the wife or husband did, they cld never convince each other that he/she really loved her/him..what the writer (who is a therapist) found out was that to some, the other things meant "sex" as well...when either one is sexually responsive, the other would feel secure in the partners love..when the wife withdrew from him sexually,none of the wife culinary skill cld convince the husband that she really loves him..and vise versa...nothing the husband did cld convince the wife that he really loved her..what it conclude was--nothing cld ever substitute what one considered to be "love"- physical touch of each other.

Thru the example above, it explains why do in times of crisis we hug one another...it is this physical touch that is a communicator of love.,in times of crisis, more than anything we need to feel loved. Certain things and events,cant be changed, but we can survive if we feel loved. The most important thing you can do for your partner to love him/her in times of crisis. The words may mean a little but it is your physical touch that tells your partner or love ones that you care. That gentle and kind touch will be remembered for long time even after the crisis but the absence of that touch may not be forgotten.

To many of us, we yearn and long for our partners to reach out to us emotionally and physically. Simple gestures running thru the hair, giving a back rub,massage ,holding hands or even making love and other "love touches" are the emotional lifeline of a person.It is that physical touch that heals emotionally..

To readers, never ever leave our the importance of physical touch to your love ones..Becos at the end of the day...a touch always speaks a lot more than just "i love you"...one can "fly" without wings when the emotional tank is filled up..as the saying goes from the movie jerry maguire...if the heart is empty, the head does not matter any more..so love you love ones, caress them or touch them,and to some extend it will heal and deepens your relationship.

Im no love guru..but whatever i write are my thoughts and what i usually see thru others, feel or from my own experience..have a gd day reading this..

space out
me.

2009-03-22T11:03:00.002+08:00

Title: Sunshine..

The weather has been pretty unpredictable lately.Rain and shine at the most unexpected timings making lots feeling sick.I have to admit that just like the weather i had a bad week last week.Fever,the company things,home and my personal self well..everything stinks.i shant go too much into details on things...but im glad that some things are settled and after last week im just hoping for a better week ahead.

Like after every storm, theres sunshine and calm days.It takes a lot to see the sunshine if the storm doesnt past so fast.One has to go thru the storm, endure the cold and thunder just to wait for the sun.But like every stormcloud the sunshine is there hidden behind.

For me, im just waiting for the sun..when its out the birds will cirp again and flowers will blossom once again.Nothing more for the week ahead.nothing more.

To my dear: Happy Anniversary.I always hope for the best of us in everything we do.Rain or shine, i will always be there for you.I love you, my sunshine.x x x

me

Listening to Nash-Tiada lagi kidung mu

2009-03-19T05:22:00.005+08:00

Title: Cold cold business world

Starting a business is certainly not easy..having a business plan alone and vision or direction is never enuff.Getting the structure right is tedious and excuting it right to the tinest details is important..its a difference between closing sales and failing to do so..deals are ideally to be done quickly but its never an ideal situation..finance have to be taken seriously at all times and risk are always calculated.

Having people under you is another issue..different people with different characters,different opinions giving you different problems to deal with..

Customers, demands and expectations and delivery wil give one headaches.

internal matters aside, the business world is a cold world to be exact..there are more people out there that wants you to fail than succeed..everyone wants a slice of a share and will try to cut each other out to have the bigger share..many would think you are rich-they want a slice of you,your own business partner cld be your enemy,frds can become foe damaging frdships/relationships along the way..ppl will judge you and some will think you have ulterior motives in everything you do..you make fake frds and real enemies n you,end up fighting the worst enemy-- yourself..

leading a company, you try your best to make the right decisions,you work extra hours and you push yourself during the wee hours to get things done..you try to do things ethically but somehow you find out that its quite impossible at some extent and you have to go agaisnt your principle and beliefs to get things done..you cannot show your weakness and always have to show your presence in authority..you start to think more out of the box and every details to every cents counts suddenly..you want to ensure things are done correctly and controlling documents, stocks and monitoring staff all at the same time is exhausting...you run around to get things done..everyone starts to hit you with the problems expecting wise solution with reasonable explanations to your actions..you feel you need to breathe with all places you gone and ppl you meet..

the extra hours means lesser sleep,lesser sleep means lower appetite and lower appetite means you lose more weight..the stress factor affects you as a whole and you try hard not to show all your weaknesses or sign of breaking..all the factors and problems makes you bend and bend and bend.crack appears slowly..disappointments add to the crack and eventually might you snap or crack.

worst, you might take it out to your love ones,hurting them and you feel guilty at the end of the day..mending it takes time and adds to the stress..affecting your lil hours of sleep..you try to differentiate work and personal but its always always hard..your lil hour of sleep becomes nap eventually...at work u think about whats the best move next and think if today would be a better day wif you and the person you love..inside you shout out loud but the real fact is no1 hears you..you r supposed to be strong bcos you are leading smthin..in finding that balance again, you just wanna breathe..but theres hardly space to do so..

and at each point of despair and disappointent that you swallowed,inside you realise that you are human-a fact that many will forget-and you are just as vulnerable..whatever you are fighting for,you are actually just fighting yourself..fighting to be strong psycologically,resilient mentally and conditioned physically.

as the chinese saying goes," the greatest enemy to face in a war is yourself".

to my dear: i can be a different person in the company but when i get back, i just want to be me, your muhammad daniel, around you..thank you for being there,supporting me and keeping that smile on my face..behind a man is a woman to push,support, guide and inspire him..i thank you for being all that.i love you. x x x

me

leona lewis cover-bleeding love

2009-02-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

Title: its about us..

been so long since i last blog that i actually forgot the psswrd to my blog...hmm..tried 4-5 times before i got it right..

sure some ppl are wondering whats been up and all that...lots i tell ya..too many to the pt i cant sleep on certain nites...n on the day time...i get tired from rushing moving arnd...plus doing management is certainly not easy..human factor always makes things hard...my dear will kow that very well rite love?..shes not having an easy time at work either..kudos to her for her patience..i noe shes a strong person n will pull thru tuff times..

anyway, shant say so much for now...things are alredy kicking off n no turning back..at times,we have to sacrifies a lil time to make things right...anyway, things are moving slowly towards where i wanna go..dats the most impt thing..

azlans wedding this wkend anyway...cannot miss that..another of my guy frd yng akhiri zaman bujang...haha..4 mths down the road for me...haha...i hope things will go very well after all the obstacles we face..again im glad, we pull things thru together at the end...

b4 i go, shout outs...havent done that for a while...

to azlan tinggi: congratulation bro!!!!you have my best wishes in evrything...semoga masjid yng dibina kekal hingga ke akhir hayat..

to yuhua guys: korang reply lah to azlan msg..hes been tryin to get u guys..c u all this wkend..

last n not least..to my dear : thank you soo much for your support..i cldnt ask for more than to have an understanding partner..wats more...supportive in things i do...insyallah if w e do the right things, we will succeed..together..its about us...let built our dream together..i love you..:)

space out..

me

2008-12-31T01:20:00.002+08:00

TItle:2008 re-cap..

I cant sleep and been tossing arnd..looked at my hp for the time n cldnt help to notice the date...31st dec..GOD...time do fly..so logged on to just write some thoughts off..

2008...what can i say about the year...brief re-cap

jan 08- arpril 08: nothing major happen..it was all about work..MICROS

may 08: planned out a birthday for my dear..back then she was only a gurlfrdstill remember the running arnd getting things done to surprise her..one and only gurlfrd rite?so was soo excited..i remember not knowing wat to do..tapi last minit..this brain suddenly worked..rushed to make the card..buy the gift,flyer tixs and all dat..slept about 3 or 4 am to get the video done..end of the day..like i said...smile on her face...PRICELESS..

may 31st: MY BRITHDAY..n its one birthday I WILL NEVER FORGET!!!!! it was fun running around singapore wif a cuff on,searchin for clues and eventually end up to a memorable place..wink wink....my dear planned it out all soo well...my 1st birthday wif some1 special n it meant a lot to me..will remember it for life...thank you dear..

june 22 08: ENGAGEMENT..another phase of life..another new thing for me..still remember how from a small thing came to smthin big..haha..alhamdullilah everything went smoothly..

july 08: nothing much happened.

august 22: dads death anniversary..i was on reservist..upset remembering what happened n few other things added to the sadness..alhamdullilah as well..wif patience,came out of it.

sept- oct 08: tendered from micros,went into property..it was a bad period actually..physically,mentally and emotionally draining due to other factors as well..

oct-nov 08:exams,exams n exams for my new job..

dec 08 to now:all about picking up n making up for time loss..i enjoy doing what im doing rite now..work doesnt feel like work..oh yah..won smthin big to close the year...
n smthin "pop" out as well..:)

well..dats about 08..i would like to remember all the good moments and forget the bad ones..

whats in store for 2009?...made a resolution to myself..

1)work harder for me & my dear and our future..insyallah wif her blessings and my mom..i will make it..my promise to my dear to work harder for us,promise to my dad to take care of my mom are two impt promises i wont want to break..if extra hours are what i have to pump in for the 2 impt women in my life, i will do it.

2) plan out my finanace better - not dat its not good now..it can be better..way way much better.

3) be a better person as a whole..i think theres lots of room for improvement on myself..

4) to be a good husband when i get married in july..insyallah amin..

well..dats the medium term goal...most impt thing is for me to really work harder so i cld give enuff in july..

few shout outs:

to all: HAPPY NEW YR!!! i wish u all a great yr ahead..may what we aspire for comes true...insyallah amin..

to my dear: despite everything and anything that happened..thank you for standing by me..your love is priceless..as i said,i always wish the best for us n want us to improve always..july..is a mth we look forward to..we have come this far..n i hope we will always move side by side in the same direction..insyallah amin....above anything else..i love you as i always have from the start...i wish you and us a gd year ahead as well..i love you n im yours...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

gd nyte n space out all..

me

2008-12-19T01:56:00.002+08:00

Title: Took the words right off me...

"She fills my heart, with very special things..

with angel songs with wild imaginings..

she fills my soul with soo much love...

and Anywhere i go,im never lonely..

With her love,who could be lonely..

i reach for her hands..

Its always there..."

above is what i would describe about my dear and her love..

to all..space out.

me.

2008-12-02T05:17:00.004+08:00

Title: What happened to you?

lately been catching up with some of my secondary school frds..and guess the most common qns they been asked is "what happened to you?"...and atul even made a remark "look who came back from the dead"..lol

well, have to admit havent realie seen them for a long while...if im right ,it was since before the fasting month...didnt joined the guys for soccer back then...busy with things..and now...with new work and all that..yup...hardly find that time..

another common remark "kurus kau skrang eh?".. in channel 5 term " you lost weight huh?"...hmm...i think so...guess..so much things going on here and ther ,soo much think about...as that superman lyric "its not easy to be me..."..haha and well...dat explains the white hair that my dear pulled out..lol

running around (my work requires me to do that..haha),making sure things go well..either work, personal life or family...with expectations always rising here and there...things arent soo easy..plus the average hr that i sleep is 3-4 hrs a day...and been slowing losing my appetite..which explains why i lost some pounds...

o well..anyway, why im up at this hr is yup..i cant sleep and not feeling too good..been sneezing since i got back earlier..so went to complete my work to submit, answer some work email..submit new proposals...hmm...gonna just close my eyes after this...

to eveyone whos reading this...haf a good day ahead!!..ciao..
to my dear...you are aslp as im typing this..just wanna say goodnite again b4 i logged out..nitey nite dear..xoxoxo

space out..

me

2008-11-13T19:57:00.002+08:00

Title: THis 5 words..

hey all,

hope you guys are doing fine out there..know the weather been gloomy and rainy lately..causing lil hassle here and there...havent been so good myself..this nose been dripping since last wk...listenin to bon jovi ...i'll be there for you..great song, great singer and band...deep meaning..

was on course the whole day and was wif my colleague luqman the whole day..after the course finished, grab 6 donuts for my dear..i ate one and luqman ate one more before waiting for him to finished his stick (1st tie eating donut donut) ...and after that rushed home back to my dear...

on the way back, luqman and i were talking about his marriage life..i looked at him and this is a guy about my age...goin to be a father soon..nice guy i haf to say..he alighted at outram as he was meeting his wife..n i continued my way back home..with the donuts in my hands...i know my dear loves the white cream donuts from the shop but unfornately there was only one left...
well,one is better than nothing..cant wait to see her smile when i get back..dat was my thought..

on the way, thoughts of my dear was the only thing dat came to mind...she didnt go to work today..n wondered if shes ok..if shes unwell..or smthin is bothering her...for the whole day, she was in my mind basically...like i always say..shes the 1st thing on my mind in the morning and the last..tucking her in n seeing the way she slept always melt me...

the other day.. was unwell, n she actually made a maggee and took care of me..dat magee even if its just a maggee, it means a lot to me...she tucked me in n made dat vick steam for me to inhale as she knew i had blocked nose..but dats not it...as i was sleepin on her bed dat day...i woke up to the darkness only to find her sleepin in a squeezy sofa in a hall...curling up...n dat was it!!!she got me there!!

looking at how she cuddle herself up in dat sofa as i was sleeping on her bed...got me..totally got me!!this is one woman that sacrifies her comfort..caring and i know i would like to love her more and more...i dont know how to describe the feeling actually..you know that feeling that you know you are the luckiest guy and you love this woman soo much..i told luqman about it actually earlier cos we were talking about how much we love our partner even if they get on our nerves at times..lol..

well,to share with the rest of the world...my dear, she is one woman that i fall over and over again each time she calls out for me,she smiles at me...a touch that i eases out any fear and calm the battle inside me as i go out to this cold world...some times, i dunoe, i have feeling that she doubt me..but she the one and only woman that i gave everything to..this heart right, has been left open like an open target, slowly she pulls the secrets in there,heals hurt...god,soo much i can say, i do write down the thigs about her in a book..for her..smthin i'll give when the time is right..so she knows..how beautiful she is...

anyway, i know that some would say...the entry is a lil mushy..but well...haha..what can i say?she got me..i fall over and over again n im addicted to her..8 more mths..8 more mths..and i give her the rest of eveything...everything there is in me..means nothing when i dont share it...

to my dear,

dont ever doubt me...evrything there is to me is right in front of you...there no one that i want more than you...above everything else...i love you.

me

2008-11-09T09:30:00.003+08:00

Title:Dont..

i just like to write these down...

1)Dont think that i dont care or ignorant about some things..im just watching and monitoring a situation before reacting..

2) Dont think that i dont know what some ppl are doing...im just seeing how far they will go

3) Dont think that i dont get hurt by their actions or say...Usually,i just swallow the pain and numb the pain..

4) Dont think that im not thinking...i think a lot...too much some say..

5) Dont think that a smile is always smile...look into the eyes to know the real story..it is the window to the soul..

6) Dont tink that i know or have the answer to everything..i just try my best to find out more and make things happens..

7) Dont think that i dont get angry..I just choose to silent rather than say things that would hurt anyone..

8) Dont think i dont have emotions..I just been supressing them...be known that while protecting feelings of my loved ones, i usually end up hurting myself more..

9) Dont think im always cool and calm..Inside i am battling a war..

JUSt dont think, dont think...dont make assumption and presumption..

space out,

me

2008-11-08T07:25:00.003+08:00

Title:Dat dream again...

barely got a wink last nite..havin a flu and fever..pop some flu and fever pill earlier on in hopin i wld fall asleep..but cldnt...instead kept waking up few times in the middle of the nite..remember this particular dream..where i died..AGAIN..hit by a car..n there were flashes of growing up years,moments with my dear,times with my mom, dad ,family basically..and b4 eventually seeing myself being carried at my funeral...where i c all my love ones..mom was quiet but cld see the sad look..my der was sobbin slowly,sis too..before i eventually for some reason..just woke up after hearing some1 calling me..woke up and there was mom opening the windows..looked at the clock n its 7am..

still feelin the fever i brushed my teeth and read some things about work n listenin to music...already had a disagreement wif my mom..its funny somehow..that wheneva i get sick, she always say that it my fault..sigh..will be having breakfast wif yan,my cuzz to talk about his policies and advise accordingly..

as im typing this..few things come to me..the dream..whats the meaing of seeing yourself dying in a dream?not once,not twice but couple of times..i remembered that my dears frd had a dream of being tied up by a black snake..what is it tryin to say?..we always hear ppl say dereams are signs of smthin rite?...anyone to fill the puzzle?.hmm..dun wan to think soo much so im gonna just take it as im stressed,sick and a lil on the down side...n thats y...which i am..

2nd...had a talk wif aliffy n lynn couple of days back...n lynn said smthin about "why cant things be like how they used to be?if you can talk to their partner nicely back then,why not now?"...dat kinda just came to mind..."why cant some things be like how they used to be for couples...what brought each couple together was there was the fact of they found smthin they like or love about their partner..during the courting years, we would talk to each other with nice words,respect and many more..but over times all these seems to fade..replaced by harsh words,coldness and many more...maybe taking for granted that our partners will always be there...

i've heard lots of break up stories,one cheating on another,be it bf-gf, engaged or even married ones...scary world out there..where a broken heart mite change a ones life n the way they view things..

anyway,love to write more but gotta rush now..talk again later probly at nite?..so wish me a good day ahead as things havent been "up" for me...enjoy the day for all those that is reading this.

space out..

me

2008-11-01T15:19:00.004+08:00

Title:My Internet time..

hey all...

hows evryone been doing?...pretty good on my side..started smthin new and soo determine and eager to see what i can do...basically skys the limit right..yup..so reach as high as you can but keep the feet on the ground...1st wk at wrk is pretty gd and positive actually...cant wait to meet more ppl and offer my services to them..that aside for now..

yeah...a neighbour was telling me that how come i dont check my friendster or similar sites anymore..or join all the others social network site..

well..to be honest..im not into these things..at least no longer at this age..plus work and all that..i usually spend my internet time doing my work..reading things i need to know..check my mail and all that..only once in a blue moon would i actually update or even log on to these sites..

like i said..just not into it anymore..be in friendster, facebook or any other out there...at this age..i rather focus on other things..esp work,career and rather use the net for smthin good...like reading things i need to know, check some stuffs or etc etc...

my neighbour actually asked ," your married? i saw your friendster profile"...well..i just laugh at her...and told her..."no but im engage"..then she continued.."how come your profile said your married?"...

"official indication that im off the market"..lol...and we both laugh...well, this is a neigbour of mine whom i was soo shocked when i found out that she got a son oredi..i know shes married but son..attended her wedding back then..but son?hmm..where have i been?..lol..i didnt know that she got a child already..haha..o well..

same as ppl that congrats me on my "marriage"...haha..1stly,thank you i would say..dont be shocked if you get a wedding card from me..haha..for now, just doakan the best for me in this phase of life..

anyway, like i said..if any of you guys need to drop me a msg or smthin..important ones that is...theres always the email..haha..if you drop me thru all these sites..just be prepared that u wait a longgggggggggggggggggg time for a reply..like i said..not into these anymore..grow up,im much more focused in myself and i grew out of these things..orng melayu ckp "dah tak penting anymore.aku tahu aku keje betul2,jaga orng2 yng tersyng and pakai net utk benda2 yng perlu sahaja"...haha...

so b4 i take my left for today..

to those that congratulate me...haha..thank you..congratulate me again next july..:) (hint hint)..

to my dear,

im focused on my work and building a better future for us..thats my goal..you will be rewarded in future for the patience..i promise you this..the things that you want n all dat...the time will come when i get you all that..i am working hard for us..i thank you for your patience and insyallah wif hard work and semua berkat..we will make it..i love you.

space out all..

me

2008-10-19T12:14:00.003+08:00

Title: Kursus Bimbingan Rumah Tangga..

Went to the pre-marital marriage course near bugis yeasterday at Apkim and and i have to say that it was a good session...choose yng personal or one to one session and in there sume orng..was a lil late and almost cldnt make due to some reason..

the 1st session was the one to one session with the ustazah,,in there learnt a lot of things about the challenges newly wed might face,the roles and responsibilities of wife and husband further in depth..ways of maintaining a happy and healthy marriage, abouyt finance and many more...

i enjoyed the 1st session a lot as it was interactive..also we were given chance to express ourselves to each other about what we think of our couple and how we view marriage...tapi pat dlm pun ngantokj jugak actually..haha..(maklumlah tido pukul 5 pagi the the before..was tossing arnd the whole nite and lepas tu bgn pukul 7 lagi).._anyway...

2nd session was a group session..learn about communication and few other things...part ni..the ustazah remind us of some1..haha..reminded me of my dear,aunt- mak Ude...the moment she spoke..MAk Ude came to mind..cara dia bual, gaya and esp biler dia bual English... sume sama...enjoyable session even though dia byk sidetrack sikit....

Kesian jugak tgk ustazah ni..she lost her son on 13 th spetember 08...his son kena hit and run...so i think most of the time when she spoke about her son as example..part of me knows that its by speaking and talking about it that we get thru it....

the second session was lebih kelakar sikit lah as yup..the ustazah was funny..the way she teased each couple and all dat..made it enjoyable...

o well..it ended at 6pm yesterday and lepas tu me and my dear went home as we were tired...i was fighting hard to stay awake..maklumlah..tak sampai 2 jam aje tido..tido kejap plus tak mkn betul and otak ni busy prepapring for my upcoming final test...pening pening..haha...

mcm mane pening pun..i enjoyed the day yesterday...lagi lagi biler dpt cert..hahaha

to my dear,

as time goes by, i realised that we face more challenges..please do not feel like giving up when things do not go our way or when we face any obstacles and setbacks..i need you to be by my side...you are my backbone in this journey..i love you lots and i always pray for us after my prayers..Insyallah wif His will and us working together..we will eventually be there and succeed..i also promise i will work hard on this new job when i start and will do my best to bimbing and guide us to succeed as how we learn and how you hope for yesterday...insyallah.. amin..

me

2008-10-10T15:58:00.002+08:00

Title: Recession

Hmm...read the news today...and its official that Singapore will be in recession after 6 yrs..GDP expected to drop to 3% and our PM warns Singaporean to be prepare for "rough" rides ahead...been watching the Stock market closely as well..even with the interest rate cuts , most are stilll dwn..must be due to the sentiments of fear by investors..

Call for worry?...yes and a lil i supposed..maybe more of planning effectively to curb this period..market always falls 6-10 yrs...dats the pattern if we notice...last Asia recession was 1998..and think on 2000 economy fell again due to China was it?..didnt remember the facts realie well there..

Im planning ahead as well..reviewing monie matters especially..making the right move and call is always critical..being ignorant wont help at this age where we are affected by whats to come and will only end us in trouble..what we plan and the move we make will play a role in our money matters..."dont bite off more than what we can chew"...dats the golden rule to remember..do not buy things you cant afford to pay off esp,stop with the swiping of credit cards and rolling it over to next mth...realie realie calculate what we can or cannot afford to avoid trouble..anohter golden rule is...

"never take for granted our job will always be there"...NTUC warns singaporean retrenchment and pay cuts are to be expected in this period...hmm...so having spare cash to last another few mths in times of retrencement and emergency is also essential...

thus,having a proper budget is important...brought a pkt of milo and it cost a dollar!!!bloody hell..so expensive..used to be 80 or 90 cents if im right..

o well..nothing much rite now except preparing to start smthin new soon..cant wait to be out there..and also preparing things for next year..what is it?..haha..it be a surprise...

gtg now..probly later i go to granny house to take a look on how she is..esp after news that my aunt diagnosed wif cancer came out...

a lil shout out to my frds..

kai: thanks for lunch yesterday...it was nice catching up wif you bro...
ansar: sibukkkk betul kau eh?..one day kita tiga duduk minum teh and bual2 k..dah lama tak jumpa 3 of us...
lan: thanks bro for the info tadi when i called..
to rest: have a gd day ahead...

last and not least..to my dearest angel, siti arfah..

we stand together in this preparation k dear..dats what we need to do..battle will be half lost if we cant work together..half won when we work as one...ppl always say we look good together rite?..we show them we dont only look good but we are indeed good together..i love you dear..

space out...

me

2008-10-03T16:34:00.002+08:00

title:Salam Lebaran

Tunggu punya tunggu, akhirnya tiba juga harinya..i did say not looking forward to it soo much but it wasnt that bad..will be starting something new soon..some opportunity here and there...hari pun not soo bad..mkn mkn mkn..haha..perut ni boleh masuk pulak...baju tahun ni "perper"...n baju yng korang nampak pat gamabr ni was chosen by my dear..samping last year punya..chosen by her as well...gambar tak tunjuk capal nye...tu pun last yr nye..so sume lah last yr..kereta aje every yr tukar!!!kaya aku!!!KAYA!!!...haha..kereta sewa lah katakan...insyallah duit lebih kita beli vios k dear?...haha..anyway,makin besar ni..dewasa ni..dah payah nak "wa wa" sgt..haha..lawa2 i mean...yng penting orng2 yng aku sayang sume dpt what they want..o yah...n 1st time ah this yr..lepas dekat 26 tahun..baru tempah baju..dulu sume baju jolok2..tu pun my dear recommend tempah baju..promote kedai nye sikit ye?..Exclusively yours Ratianah.....pinkish peach..lawa2..besok pakai eh b?....anyway...nak amek my dear from work before gi course...to all..Selamat hari Raya!!!to my dear...:) i pick you up later k dear...love you..

space out all..

2008-09-26T06:16:00.002+08:00

TITLE: Home finally....

After 4days out at sea,my dear came back yesterday afternoon at about 3pm..fetch her at habourfront again..was early..so rush to Cocoa Tree to get her a simple welcome home gift..told the aunty to paste a simple ribbon b4 attaching a small note to it...went back up...put it on the front passenger sit and cover it with pillow and rushed back down..haha..anyway..a big shout out to my sexy lover...

welcome home dear!

me..

2008-09-21T14:27:00.002+08:00

Title: THe hardest word to say...

At times, saying things we want to say or saying deep things is always the hardest things to say...
what more if its to the person we love...

came early to my dears place today to help her pack up her things for her 4 days or more on a vessel..packed the things she brought along..the necessary ones esp..well,packed it the army way...wif ziplocks to save space and protect the contents..never know ifit rains or anything aight...dat aside..

was packing her things ensuring everything is sufficient for her and at times while shes surfing the net, i looked at her..so many things i want to tell her..she knows i disapprove this trip but i dunnoe.im helping her pack..i guess theres this part of me that wants the best for her on this trip..back of my head i need to make sure that she has sufficient necessities and what she needs to make her comfortable there...its one of my unspoken ways of showing her i love her and will always ensure the best for her..

anyway,shes looking forward to this moment..going offshore..she talked to me about it..i be selfish right to deny her of this experience..was on board once myself..now let her feel it..n looking at the vessel she be staying..its wayyyymuch better than what i stayed on back then...

i know despite my reluctance,deep inside whatever she does or whever she goes,i always pray for her safety...i always prayed for her each time after praying..don't realie tell her about how shes always in my prayers.....n for this trip,its already part of her job and i will accept.

anyway, most of her things are packed now...few things left..shes beside me now watching bourne identity...left a letter in her back as well..before i take my leave in this entry...a lil note for my dear...

To my dear,

im never good at goodbyes, it always makes me cry...as much as possible,i look away when i have to say it..again, please take care of yourself on board..i always pray for your safety and you are always in my prayers each day..you are still the 1st person on mind each day i wake up and the last before i go to bed..you know i cant never sleep w/o knowing how u r doing...call me whenever you can k dear...i settle the things over here..im already missing your kisses,hugs this month..n now im gonna miss you as a whole for 4 days or more...again..take care of yourself,haf a safe and enriching experience and tell me all about it when you get back...n before i take my leave..again,i say it in words..i love you and will always keep you in my prayers for as long as we are together...

love,

me

2008-09-20T18:32:00.004+08:00

Title: My Pusuit of Happyness..

IN life, a lot of things we want to achieve or get...but whatever it is that we are after, it is something that gurantees us happiness we have what we want..

I am no exception...In my pursuit of happyness..i taste the hurt of failing, negativity and self doubt...past one half month..has been very very challenging for me..it came to a pt where i dont realie look forward to this upcoming hari raya..

In my pursuit of happyness..i hurt some parties...worst ws puttin my dear in an insecure position...despite assuring her that things will be ok..i know she has this doubt in her...i know she is stressed out..n i am part of that...

IN my pursuit of happyness, mom gave a lot of negative remarks...

two ppl that is my happiness, has doubt in me...i know that..they might hide it from me...but knowing them..i know whats on their mind..

Maybe the road to that happyness is tuff,its no longer a maybe...it is tuff...im going thru it...maybe i see that road..i love to see that road..but in that road...what matters is the two ppl that loves me and walks with me and not anyone would walk wif us the path.

i see myself now is exactly in that movie "in pursuit of happyness"...tuff,trying his best to prove two people he loves most he can make it...along the way, i did hurt and affected some parties..put them in situation they dont want to be..situation i said they never be in...

im not looking forward to this raya...i constantly thinkin of my best move...that sometimes it makes me have these minor headaches and it feels that my veins in the head is bursting...

before i go and break my fast, a lil shout out..

to my mom: abg tahu mama tak risau..abg cuba sedaya upaya abg at this point to keep abg pun ya promise...

to my dear: whatever happyness i am tryin to achieve, you are my biggest happyness..whateva assets i want to achieve...you are my biggest assest i never want to lose..i have to mentor now to help me achieve my happyness which is our happyness...believe in me and i assure you that it be a rewarding one when i make it...i'll give you something as an assurance that im serious about us and want to make it for us...

as much as i disapprove, please please take care of yourself on board...the least i can do is provide you with a comfortable experience with things you need and things i can buy or give you for your trip..i take this chance to susun sepuluh jari and mintak maaf zahir dan batin sekiranya abg ade sakitkan hati afah sengaja and tak sengaja and also buat u stress mcm gini...past one year,halalkan mkn minum abg..once again i mintak maaf..have a safe trip and selamat hari raya syng..i wait for you to get back.i love you.

to all: selamat hari raya.

to HIM: grant me that HAPPYNESS that i pursuing for..amin

space out.

me

2008-09-09T14:27:00.002+08:00

Title: Those were the days...

hey all, been a while eh?..yup..i know for some, you guys probly wondering.."where the heck is daniel?still alive or not?"..he is of cos..or else i wouldnt be bloggin this...:P

yeah..was away for almost the whole of august as was on reservist..then been busy running here an there in this property industry...tell you..its one hell of hard work!!!!!!!!..gotta be there to know it!!..dat aside..how have i been?...surviving i guess..lol..well, gonna make this blog a lite hearted one..

was reading my dears blog about how back then she would skip fasting..action puasa n the things she did...its a funny one actually..the way she put it down..her style of blogging...well..talk about fasting...haha..guys...ingat tak main bola lepas skolah lepas tu ramai2 minum air bawah blok sorok2?...byk korang punya puasa pun boleh tahan..haha..wel..those were the days..

lan, remember, minum air haram atas far east plaza before going to china valley, was it? to what my dear describe as tempat gelap2 n lampu plus music kuat2..at central mall...haha..well, those were the days...

but those days are over...longgggggggg over...

what ever we all did in the past, well its a thing of the past..the past is the past but it is now that makes the future..im glad that all my frds we have stopped all those things...at this age, i proud that evryone is mature enuff to think whats best for them..we are all at the step of going into a different level..and im glad most of us are in dat level n trying our very best to be the best of us,changing and preparing ourselves..transitioning into dat level..ikut hukum..wajib tu...haha.

i smiled when i read my dears blog..esp the msg she intended to me in her post..it meant smthn to me..thank you for the guidance..she wrote..

to you..my dear, just like me and everyone else..we are no exception from making mistakes, you made mistakes and you told me things you did..i accepted you the way you were and i accept you the way you are now dear..
insyallah, i will do my very best to guide you..n do the same for me k baby?we have our hiccups in this relationship..but whenever we face a certain obstacle..i look back at the wonderful moments we created and journey we took together...thats when my love understands n forgives..its not that i dont want to go hard on you..you degil n hardly listen..when it comes to you, i do what i have been doing all this while...like what you always say..i have a way with you..whatever it is baby,happy times, sad times,hardships, i walk with you and i pray you feel the same..we will be all right..a lot of things i wanna say..someday you will hear them...but remember this golden rule whever you go baby..i love you lots..

to everyone else: selamat berpuasa...n moga bulan puasa this memberi we all lebih berkat..

HAPPY FASTING!!!

o yeah..before i go..theres this saying from mother theresa

" if we spent too much time judging people, we can never have the time to love them".

space out all..

me

2008-08-22T06:20:00.003+08:00

Title: MY Only LOve...

I was watching my dear sleeping earlier and memories of how it all began, the happy moments and sad ones came to mind.i remember switching on my laptop on 16th July 2007, receiving an electronic smile from her..n from there, things developed further...

Im remembering times where we would stay out late to sleep at the beach watching the stars, remembering sleeping @ the back seat of a car even though it was squeezy..remembering our slow long walk from Arab Street ending up at UOB plaza..sharing stories as if there were no tomorrow..remembering how we kissed on the steps of ONe fullerton with that security guard walking past us few times but we continued kissing..

Lying in bed at nights thoughts of my dear literally make me skip a beat -things she does, the excitement she creates and the new lease of life she brings..Shes the 1st gurl i cried to when i talked about my dad and in some unexplained reason, she heals the hurt of having to let go of dad..till today, her warmth hugs and shoulders will always be there..and her fingers running thru my hair says that everything will be all rite..

I still keep those msgs we exchanged on friendster,the texts messages and cards and gifts she bought me..i have pictures of her beside my bed and pictures us hung on the wall..each time i opened or looked at all these things again, i am reminded why i got engaged to this fiery yet delicate soul and why i want to spend my life with her..

Every relationship is not perfect..mine is no exception..whats more when its the 1st- where evrything is a learning process..we have our fair share of ups and downs in this relationship..misunderstandings, arguments ..just like everyone else..but love understands and love forgives..

Yes, 1st love may give butterflies in the stomach or gives a cloud nine effect..but as times goes by, love that endures or resist the test of time resides in the soul..and becos of this, love becomes something powerful..it makes or break people..it becomes part of us..

and when Love completes us, it give us the compass we need to safely guide us thru lifes unpredictable journey..

As i write this, I could have watched my dear sleeping for hours ...it is when she looks the softest and weakess..still i am remembering the little things she does that makes her mine..despite her stubborness and weaknesses, i have learnt to accept those and in a world where lies, hurt and coldness exists,she is my rainbow after the rain..i am profoundly greatful that she was sent to me..most importantly...she made me whole..

To my dear siti arfah: I thought about you every nite when i was away in the jungle..i brought the picture you gave and thoughts of you made me smile..i got excited each time i see your name flashing on my mobile..how much i miss you and how much i love you..lets work together on the basis of love,trust,understanding,acceptance and make everything we dream and talk about come true...never doubt my love cos no matter where i go - be it known that i am always yours...Happy Anniversary dear..i love you..XOXOXO

LOve ,

me

2008-07-23T14:15:00.000+08:00

Title: Road to success is never easy

hey all, havent realie been blogging soo much..been realie busy latety..1st - working for micros singapore..2) marketing for Suisse Lab Singapore 3) getting started as a housing agent..it be wonderful if theres 3 of me to run around..

tired of working and always hve to report to my boss,Tony..to be honest, hes not a very good boss..maybe technically yes but his social skills sucks to the max.when my previous manager- Rajeev left,things began to change and working at Micros is no longer fun..waking up evryday n thinkin of the fact that i have to c Tony..is a drag.

anyway, getting started as this housing agent thing..making the flyers, distributing my name card when i talk to ppl/taxi drivers and etc.. it hasnt been put to full force or agressive marketing they would say.it will be on full force once im done with micros..at this point of time..im just clearing up all the back logs in micros before leaving..made up my mind n i wil work hard for the housing agent..after all, property is where the money is right now.

Suisse Lab is another where agressive marketing needs to be put in place...this too requires me to talk n meet people..this is in some way..a back up income for the future..getting people in is a lil tuff at times..but i believe it will grow slowly but surely...right now, talkin to stranger is already a norm..n i realise theres no room to be shy in the business world..

Like i said, if theres 3 of me, i would be running around making things happen..but well..its me n my dear only in this...2 is still better right..we are synergising our strengh n complementing on each otheres weakness..that is what we do now..

after quitting micros, i believe i can focus more on the housing thing.running around meeting n talking to more people.i HAVE to make it bcos i NEED to make it..most eyes are on me when it comes to this..how i take care of my love ones, how i run the family, how i take care of my dear,all eyes are on me..expectations are what people have from me..n knowing how much i HATE to fail..all i can do is ensure that i make it out there...

anyway, was lil sick yesterday and past few days n cldnt do much..feeling better right now n all gear up n engines reving back up..so BACK To BUSINESS...

to my dear : i will make sure we will make it..

space out peeps..

if you have any rooms or place to rent out..call me ya..90050827..daniel

me

2008-07-10T20:40:00.002+08:00

Title: Engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ting Ting Ting!!!! I would like to make an announcement here this time...haha..i would like to annouce that on 22nd June 2008...me and my dear-siti arfah got engaged..

well, 1stly, like to thank god that evrything went well..yup..like to thank HIM for sending me my angel..:)

To the ppl that helped me for the preparations..thank you as well..esp to my mom who made and arranged everything..

To my frds that came, thank you as well ya!!appreciate the time you peeps spent...Lan, aliffy,lynn and sarinah...thanks ya..

to frds that sent your congrats..thank you too...

hmm...honestly..when i got engaged i remember how Feroz told me never put an age to settling down..cos you never noe when that special someone would come along...haha..thanks for that advise bro..look at where
you are...one beautiful daughter...and all happy....n yeah..we will make the little Dynamos in future..haha...i will try to contribute ....lol

Anyway, as mentioned before the journey to that date is definitely a discovery...she being by my side made a whole lot of difference to lots of things...im always thankful to have her..her smile, jokes and laughter have never fail to light up the day no matter how bad things are...well, each time i look at her from far doing things she does, i wld smile and think back of the things that make her- her...she does get on my nerves to be honest but somehow..i would miss her irritating me when she doesnt...hmmm...lots more to say...but well..lets keep that for HER to know only ya...

to my mom: thank you sooo much for making evrything possible...i love you..
to my frds again: thanks again for the messages and all dat..
and to my dear :(who is sitting beside me and probably wondering what im gonna say)...Dont stop irritating me k dear...thats the funny thing about love...no matter how we get on about partners nerve at times...we some how miss the things they do when they stop doing it...i pray that all the things we dream of come true and we will grow together in lifes journey...i love you..X X X n last n not least...I TAK BERAK during the 1st date lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!stop asking me that cos its IRRITATING...lol...love you lots...

ok, i had fun during the photo taking..for more photos...click on the link "my dear" thats on the right...yup...enjoys peeps...space out

me

above: our fun shot..amacam?rock tak????lol.

2008-06-13T02:25:00.005+08:00

Title: What Happens when you find it..

Before i met my dear, those that know me well would know that pretty much where i go or what i do, i go and do it alone..catch a movie, shop and etc..laugh if you want to..but its the truth..i never realie find it odd to do those things alone though frds would ask, "kau giler pe jln sorng2?"...

Well..to be honest..it was already at the point where i would say..."hey..if she comes along, she will come..if not..well...its ok..i try to make it on my own." kinda thing...when you cross a street and see a lonely gurl or walk into a bookstore and find a lady searching for a book alone..it did crossed my mind back then that maybe this person is lonely as well and a simple hi or hello would make 2 less lonely ppl then....haha...but never realie went up to any of them..lol.

Never realie thought that a soul out there would actually send a smile one day and that made a whole lot of different..the late nite talks,the jokes, the songs that we sang and many more..n as time goes by and the more i know of her, i am loving this person more and more each day,

Like the saying goes...it comes when u least expect it..

What started from a smile turned into smthin more than i expected..n the other day, while watchin my dear long awaited movie..sex and the city..this qns came from part of the movie..."what happens when we find it?" I never realie understood that cos well, my dear is the 1st for sure and while back then i would ponder on "who is she going to be? when is she coming?"..i never realie thought about..what happens when you find it..

SO what happens when we find it?..It refers to love in this context..the answer is a discovery and is a journey i have to say..For one thing i know,im loving tis fiery yet fragile soul and having a love return is indeed a great feeling..

We let it grow, we nuture it, understand it..dats what i found out..when two different souls meet wif differences in opinion, we try to understand why or where each others stand comes from..we try to understand why or what would hurt our partner and avoid it..avoid hatred, grudges or resentment and nuture and let it grow from the basis that brought two together..

love has a whole lot of meaning behind it..it has different interpretation to many..if spoken but unshown has little meaning.spoken but unshown has little value..if shown but unsaid..might leave one wondering whats the expressions all about..love won't grow if not sowed..just like a seed, w/o air, water or the sun it just a seed..

what is the measurement of love? what do we compare it to?the answer comes to the things we do for our partner..the things we do are the expression of our love to our partner..some might compare it to the sea, to the sky or anything that is infinite but what i find out is that it is the things e do for our love ones. A mother's endless love to a child for instance-where she sacrifies herself to give the best for her child..washing the clothes,feeding the child and many more..that is her expression of love for her child.A wife's love for her husband - taking care of his meal, clothings and many more... So just like a mothers love to a child or a wife to a husband, at the end of the day it is what we do , give and work for, for the benefit of our partner and the relationship is the measurement of love..give endlessly thats where love becomes unconditional.Touching and caressing which are also expression of love will come naturally when all is in place.

Accepting one flaws , respect and forgiving our partners for their limitations,speaking words of kindness and encouraging our other half to do their best..the list goes on n on n probably endless when it comes to showing how much we love some1.

well, for me i did told my dear that in this relationship, i would like to see us grow and move forward as a couple and as individuals as well...i would like her to try to push beyond her limitations or overcome her fears and see what she can achieve thru it with my support and vice versa..i believe in myself more wif her beside me..its amazing what the power of love can do..i am no expert in this love thing..i see,feel and analyse it...n try to understand why we are who we are when we are in love..

to my dear,

Its about 9 more days to our engagement..yes,we've been busy preparing things here and there as well as looking around for the big event..plus with the business that we are starting together and our daily work, it can be pretty tiring at the end of the day and stress might get to either of us..but rest assure dear, i wont leave you walking thru all these alone..we will priorities our things and get things more settled..build and move towards our common dreams..we take it step by step and i believe we can do it just like how we finished your room..keep in mind that i love you and i wont give up should things get tuff for us ahead..slowly but surely we will achieve what we both dreamt of...insyallah..i love you..

to all,

may you all be blessed with the love of your love ones always- be it from HIM ,our mom, dad, siblings or our other half..what happens next is a journey.

Space out..

me

2008-06-02T18:19:00.008+08:00

Title: 31st May 2008

Who says as you grow older, birthdays gets boring or it becomes "just another day"? Well, my dear certainly proved that birthdays are not just about getting old or "just another day"...glimpse of what happens on 31st May this year..certainly one birthday i will NEVER forget...surprises after surprises...plus all the personal touches...i realie enjoyed the day..below are some of the events dat took place on dat day...thanks dear..

Above:Surprise 1 - Pretending to ask me to look for her socks before giving me the present

above: Wif her personal touch to the gift.I love this gift.

Left: The 3 things she gave for "FUN"
wich was needed for the Amazing Race...

Above:As a punishment for stealing her heart,i had to run around Sentosa with this cuffs on...

Birthday EVe - 30th may 2008

Ok..start wif the birthdays' eve..it was a lil disappointing when she suddenly went like " Tomorrow your birthday rite?"...arghh..thought she forgotten it and she told me that shes working on my birthday!!!

31st May at the stroke of midnite...

how cleverly she tricked me into making me find her socks before the Sex and the City movie at the back of the car when she already hid the present there!! Its a board wif all our pictures on it..has that personal touch to it...n i luv the poem dear!!!!! thank you so much for that!!!!

( the present is pix number 2 above)

31st May...morning till 2pm..

called her but my dear rejected my call claiming she was busy at work!!! till pukul 2 petang..when she msg..

" Dear ,Go and check your wallet"...

and inside was a note saying..."YOU GOT MAIL!!"

that was exciting..i swear to anyone on that..it came as a surprised and i was like "when did she put dat in?!"

Fasster than the speed of light and a speeding bullet ( step mcm Superman eh? lol)...RUsh to the PC to check my mail tapi takde apape..fikir punya fikir..ahhhh..i finally went down to check my mail box..n there it was..

an ENVELOPE wif a card saying that stealing her heart is a crime , a cluecard and a cuff!!!!Arghh!!! it just got more n more exciting..

haha...

CLue num 1: Where is "down under" of Singapore? SMS your ans to 9XXXXXXX.

Instructions: Put on those cuffs hop on to a cab n proceed to down-under.

O yah, i was supposed to send her photos of me wif those cuffs tightly on to her before proceeding.. Once i got the green light..off to SENTOSA!!!!!!!!!!!

Secret: kinky to put on those cuffs and have your imagination run wild...lol

CLue num2 : what are the 3 things i gave you for fun?Bring them.

(Apa lagi..lincah kaduk pack all the 3 things my dear gave me n ciao from there..)

What are the things...Pen wif a clown face, Magnifyign glass and a tissue...pixs above..:)

CLue num 3: Align at any station, take a tram to tanjung beach. Take a photo of yourself in those cuff on the tramp.MMS your photo to 9XXXXXXX.

haha...ok..stopped at pahlawan beach and waited for the tram.haha..ok..felt a mix of amazing race plus prison break tryin to conceal the cuffs till i reached tanjong beach for the next clue...

CLue 4: Search for the wooden staircase and you'll find your next clue there...

LAri to the other side till the end mcm nak rak...only to find out that its on the end of the other side...hari pun nak hujan..so jogged back to the other side sampai nampak the wooden staircase..hah...ni part...turun naik tu tangga yng ppppppppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannjaaaaaaaaaanggggg 5 kali baru jumpa the clue!!!! (u tak baik hide the clue tempat mcm tu..lol)...Pat belakang tangga rupanya!!! ade cangkung mcm orng nak "beyak" cari bawak tangga...haha... cuaca pun dah hujan by then n jeans dah basah!!!haha..

last clue..ni clue tak boleh direct sgt...so gonna just say..

last clue: where it all happened?...

tapi ni wording punya lah kecik!!!n i then noe kenapa my dear bagi tu magnifying glass and a pen the tissue..Magnifying glass to read the clue wording yng kecik mcm anak2 semut, tulis answer pat dat clue n lap peluh before pegi claim my price!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apa lagi..dah tahu the answer..lari to the place where it all happened!!ni tempat kenangan punya...only me n my dear will know kan kan kan?...:) n there she was sitting under the hut...she turned n tilt her head before smiling (i love it when she does dat!!i swear on that!!!)

n biler dah sampai...haha...hugged her, kissed her n squeeze my priceless price n n there she was holding the keys to my cuffs..

what more can i ask for..wif hershe brought along a nice picnic basket wif her home cooked lasagne, spaghetti, some nice cold drink and a cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so we spent our time eating n talking after that..:)

I dont know what she went thru or how much she spent on all tis..but on my side...

cab fare to sentosa : $23.50

entrance : $2.00

well...dats all i spent..haha...but one thing for sure...scroll down...

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LAGI LOW

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Lagi sikit....
V

dah sampai pun....knowing that she put all her effort and she loves me...nothings beat that feeling...like they say..some things are just priceless...

TO my dear sweetheart: I realie want to say thank you for making my birthday special..it was realie a surprise..the whole thing...i love playing the game you put up on that day..it was realie an unforgetable 1st time...for above evrything else...thank you for being part of my life, making me smile,laugh and all the great moments we share..i would not trade you for anyone or anything else n i thank HIM for sending you to me...thank you dear ..and i love you..

luv,

me..

to all..space out..

i will post the pix..on my next blog...but for more pixs...click on "my dear" on my link there...

space out all..

me

2008-05-30T00:20:00.001+08:00

Title: I killed sleep..

EVer got the sleeping of your asleep but you feel awake?Havent been sleeping well lately..n dats exactly what i've been going thru for the past few days..god knows why..its like the eyes are wide awake n you're lying down in the dark but at the back of your head, the brain is not functioning n you are asleep..so seeing yourself its like lying in the dark..

had ippt earlier..cleared this window..thank god..hurt my left ankle during the standing broad jump..must be the impact of landing plus the weight put on it during the 2.4km run which makes it worst..put some ice to it later..

anyway, i just got back from my dears place..shes already asleep..love watching her sleep..its the time when she looks soooooooo peaceful..hope she be better tomorrow.

gonna try n go to bed now..n i hope i can sleep better tonite than the other nites...tired n ankle hurting..i think i call it a day for now..

gd nyte peeps.

space out.

me

listening to Blink 182..i miss you.

2008-05-28T01:34:00.003+08:00

Title: Garment

hmm..cant help but to talk about the major headlines for today that reflect on "garment"....

1) Malaysian "garment" to ban foreign vehicles from buying petrol near the borders..

They always come up with soo many things..have to admit..we do benefit from their subsidies but we still give back thru how much we spent each time we enter malaysia rite?..but what about if one stays near the border for couple of days? are we supposed to top up in singapore then come back in?

2) Superintendent sacked in regards to escape of Mas Selamat..

"No one should be sacked or step down on this matter" or smthin like that..so much for that huh?

3) China to uplift its one-child policy after quake..

come to think of it...kinda sad not to have any brothers or sisters..what were they thinkin?

O well...whateva they were thinkin. they always have their explanation.im gonna go to bed now..i got nothing against any "garments"....just a thought..dats all...gd nyte peeps..

Space out,

me

2008-05-23T22:55:00.002+08:00

Title: Friday nite..

Just got back standby..last one was at Terror Club near Sembawang PSA..Decided to finish it tonite rather than 2mrw morning..had dinner wif Syed at Tong Seng Bugis..didnt finish my fav slice fish cos been feeling a lil unwell..must be due to the "hujan panas" the other afternoon..

anyway, got home n msg my dear since shes out wif her kakak "carry"..im sure shes having a better time than me..force my eyes to shut on the way back from terror club..got home,went straight to my room b4 mom came in n i told her i wasnt feeling too good..she said i didnt take care of myself..feeling a lil hot and lower back hurts..no panadol or medication left...cant sleep n dunnoe if tis sounds crazy..feel like goin for a run with the fever...maybe the sweating will do some good dat if my legs can carry me..

as im typing tis..the only sound i can hear is the sound of me typing and the clock ticking wif ocassional cars passing by..dats how dead silent it can get over here in CCK..if dads arnd, i can hear him snoring...if mom is up,she be talking to me but moms already asleep n once again im alone..full of thoughts for the day...helmi is not around n he always comes back in the wee hours..

im gonna wash up and maybe gear up for a run and wait for my dear to tell me dats she safely home..miss her cos she be the one talking to me or laughin or joking wif me usually at this time b4 she turns in to bed..gonna go now..n talk again some time ya..nite peeps.

space out..

me

listening to David Cook-You'll always be my baby

Picture Above: Crazy Us

2008-05-17T12:50:00.003+08:00

Title: Season's Break

So Soccer @ Fico will be having a 3weeks break..so call "winter" break and seasons transfer window..haha..well..last nite game was a lil rough i suppose..flying tackles here n there and temper flew few times...me n dave, kai and eddie, aliffy and azlan...anyway,all was cool at the end..end of seaons @ FICO..and evryone went for Nasi LEMAk POwer at Boon Lay..where all the guys and WAGs got together and all was fine..

My victoria beckham cldnt make it for the 3rd time round..i wished my dear was there as well..miss her cheering and laughing by the bench..sorry peeps..shes been a lil unwell lately..wich worries me a lot..my dear was down wif fever yesterday..when i got back,she was still coughing and not sleeping well..realie need to get rid of the cough..slowly but surely im sure we find a cure.

Talked about the "khursus rumahtangga" with lan and rohaya while sending rohaya back..an interesting insight..thanks you guys..

then talked about marriage,finding a house ,home loan,renovation and plans for each of our upcoming big day with my 2 bros..another useful information..

anyway,its sat..wondering how my dear is..gave her a call but she didnt pick it up..maybe shes still asleep..cldnt realie sleep since i got back last nite..slept at 5plus am n got up by 8am....so tadi kemas rumah sikit2..haha

o yah...think i saw a ghost yesterday..if its not a figment of my imagination..rite across my dears room..time nak tutup tingkap bilik..there she was near by the trees near the rubbish chute..( paham2 ape dat thing is eh eh eh...)time tu dah pukul 11 lebeh tak salah..her mom ada ckp that orng ade nampak2 pat sana...guess it was my turn her...spooky...cepat2 tutup tingkap and langsir n diam aje..

anyway,my dear is goin out wif her cuzz,hope shes feeling ok by now...still waiting for her call..tak dgr suara my dear rindu..suppose to habiskan cupboard..but its ok..let her have a time..they are close anyway..they are the version of me and yan...so for me.. mati kutu sikit today.takmo kacau my dear sgt on gurl day out..

gonna end tis here..badan n kaki sakit..kena tackle aje smlm n ni kuku kaki bengkak after a clash yesterday..kena air..ya ampun..pehe pulak garis2..like i said..smlm punya game kasar..o well..par t of the game..

shout out time!!

to aliffy: takmo marah2..u r full of anger yesterday..ok tak bro?sampai pat boon lay ko masih talking about how this n dat person makes you mad...nasib lynn ade..chill k..season break now..

to lan: interesting story about your preparations..and sorry if the last blog makes guys feel aku spoil market..haha.

kai: stress kan save duit?

ansar: dah ade kereta sey!!!proton savvy..bagus bagus..

dave: my apology for the temper last nite..3rd time plus after falling from the tackle my head hit man chun's knee..thought dat was too rough..just lost it a bit..but it can get to you when ppl keep playing your leg n not the ball at times..all was cool after dat anyway..

space out peeps..

n lastly..to my dear..

im realie sorry kalau if i returned a lil late nite..when i got back and you werent asleep n coughing..i felt a lil sad..got home n was still thinkin how to get you well..i woke up and your the 1st person that i thought of.."is she ok?"...we will get you well..if it cost smthin,i'll invest in it..dats why im trying out all these different ways..home remedies,aroma theraphy, medication n all dat..i just want you to get well...dats all..do know i care about you n love you lots.

me..

listening to : Republik..Hanya ingin kau tahu.

2008-05-08T22:29:00.000+08:00

TITLE: Dears Birthday

6th MAy was my dears birthday.Well,told her would line up things for her on that day..so we took leave on TUesday to celebrate it.

1stly, Im glad things that i had in store for her on that day went smoothly.Timing wise especially. Evrything had to be on time since i had the tixs booked for the flyer at 9pm.Hence, Eveything that happened before 9 had to go smoothly so we could make it on time for the flight.

Ok..shes a lil curious how i put it all up or pre-planned evrything..So below is what happened dear..
_____________________________________________________________________________

On Sat & Sunday nite, each time i got back from your place late at nite..that is the time i made that clip. Sat nite was the time where i planned what n how i wanted the clip to be and sunday was about choosing the pictures of us for the clip..

THe clip was ready by early tuesday morning @ about 330am.

Monday:

Monday at work i thought about what i wanted to do for Tuesday. THe plan was quite last min.I only came up with the final itinerary close to 520pm. After doing some calling here and there,finally came up with the final plan and it was about 6pm that i made that invitation card with the itinerary in it. Yup..evrything, the movie timing, The spa timing, The dinner and the Singapore Flyer was pretty much last min.

610pm:Rushed down to the gift shop downstairs at keypoint to get the envelope.THe auntie was about to close shop to be honest.

620pm: Went to Amirahs Grill restaurant and made a reservation @ our fav place. Reservation confirmed for 630-7pm Tues for 2 Pax.

640pm: Walked down to bugis to shop for her birthday gift. After looking around for about 15 mins and was still clueless, thought of smthin that you wanted. Thats when "pendant" came to mind. Coming up with a specific item was much more easier.I had a hamper from body shop as one of the ideas but come to think of it..i needed smthin SMALL so i could carry it around with it w/o she ever realising.

Walked to goldheart before looking at SK.thats where i got your gift dear. :)

720pm: Got a cab from BUgis and off the the Singapore Flyer. Was in btwn two mind- Singapore flyer or Duck tour..n for no reason, made up my mind to opt for the Singapore FLyer.

Queue up and bought the tixs. asked the cashier whats the best timing where there wouldnt be too many people around. 9 or 930pm. thats the two option. yup,thats when i chose 9pm flight.

When home after that and visited my grandma. Got home and msg you to wish you before calling you up to talk to you a bit before you go to bed.

TUesday:

1am Tuesday morning: was working on your clip, fine tuning it and choosing a song for the clip.

230am tuesday Morning: Made the video msg for you. it took about 11 takes before perfecting it and went to bed after taking my cold medicine.

1010am: Suddenly woke up and realised i was late!must be the medication. RUshed to burn the CD and put evrything in the paperbag.

1030am: Wrote your Friendster Testimonial before Showering and got ready.

1115am: Reached your place dear. I purposely asked for the bag so i could put the pendant box in it w/o you seeing.

1215: Movie @ Plaza SIngapura.

300pm: We reached the Spa.Kissed your forehead and off to get few things done. Heres the part..I looked arounf Wisma for a cake but couldnt find any. When we were at Plaza Singapura, i noticed the Secret Recipe.I went back to Plaza Singapura to get the cake at Secrets REcipe.

350pm: Got the cake and off to Arab St. It was about 415 by then and gave the cake to the manager with some specific intruction.

425pm: Makan ROti John and teh-O at Arab St.Makan lincah lincah punya. Almost terpegik.

5pm: Got cab to go back to Taka and waited for you. Was sweating. Washed up a bit so you wouldnt notice.

630: Off to Amirahs Cafe.

810pm @ Amirah Cafe: Told you i would go to the toilet but actually went to see the manager to get the cake ready.

820pm: Well, you made your birthday wish and when you turned around,thats when i reached for the pendant box and gave it to you before we left for the Flyer before we called it a day.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dear,

that was what happened n how i made it happened.

OK..so wondering how much i spent on that day right??

Damaged cost:

Taxi fare: close to $50
Dinner @Amirahs grill:$51.70
Spa:F.O.C
Movie: close to $25
Pendant: Undisclosed

Seeing you smile, happy and saying you love me: PRICELESS

Dear,

I hope you had an enjoyable day on that day. I Had fun spending quality time with you,laughin and joking at the same time.it was a long day for us and believe it or not, i didnt shower when i got back cos was too tired.

Before i take my leave for this post..Happy Birthday to you again dear. I Love You...

next big event for us: 22nd June.

Lookng forward to that..

Love,

me

_________________________________________________________________________________

****For readers, well..the pictures for that day..click on the link "MY Dear" a lil bit on the right..haha.

C ya guys around.

Space out..

me

2008-04-30T12:31:00.000+08:00

TITLE: WHen it comes to you..

I dont always blog twice in a day..honestly,im a lil unwell..i went to the doctor n got 2 days MC. having a temperature of 38.3..already took my medicine n it has subsided..i tried to sleep but one thing came to my mind..my dear..

She told me that she was feeling unwell as well n what got to me most was the fact that she didnt take her lunch..guess her mood wasnt realie dat good..maye it was the fact that shes unwell or other wise...but whatever the reason is..shes always on my mind..Each time i wake up frm sleep..i wld think if shes ok..i am lying down on my bed but she working even though shes unwell..i told her to take time off but she told me that they would cut her pay..that too got to me..she is realie tryin to save up for our marriage n trying soo hard.

WHen i woke up at about 710 in the evening, shes the 1st person that came to mind again. I wondered, if shes safely home and wondered if she has eaten her dinner. when she had skipped her lunch..part of me dont feel good when i dont know all that and i just had to know..so told my mom that i wanted to visit her,took my shower n went to her place..didnt realie call her up to say i was coming..on the way, i thought..."ni confirm kena marah dtg tak ckp"...but nvm that i supposed, my intentions was to find out if shes ok..dats all..knowing me,i dont think my mind wld be at peace if i didnt know n i wldnt want that..

well, got her her fav chicken porridge, her 3 in 1 milo..got at her place n here i am..talking about my day..

whateva it is dat i am tryin to say...i just want her to know that when it comes to her, she will always get the best of me..i will go that extra mile to give her my best n make sure that she gets the best.my promise to her that i will take care of her is smthin i hold on to..when she doesnt feel good, i dont feel good as well..thats the thing..i cannot just sit down and do nothing when i know that smthin can be done..

anyway, shes right here beside me n im glad thats she has taken her dinner even though shes a lil unwell..at least tonite i can sleep in peace knowing shes ok.

to you my dear: when you are reading this,do know that i love you a lot and when it comes to you, rest assure i go the proverbial mile n you will always be safe here.get well dear,i love you.

Space out,

me

2008-04-30T12:09:00.000+08:00

TITLE:HOUse Problem????

PLayed at fico last friday with the guys n after the game,me ad some of the guys sat outside at the carpark and talked about getting our own place after getting married..Feroz didnt get the house he wanted and RJ on the other hand, is in a dilemma on whose house to stay after married..

One think that Feroz highlighted is the friction btwn wife and mother in law that always happens or exist..RJ talked about how sentitive the matter of choosing whose side to stay with..if he chose side A, then side B would be offended n vice versa...

I have to agree on the guys opinion..i seen it with my sis who said that she felt pressurised if she stays at her in law place..i guess the fact of expectations of the mother in law from the daughter in law is the main factor why most couple would
choose their own place.MOst daughter in law would be expected to do the chores n etc etc arnd the house of their mother in law..its that expectation thing that makes it difficult..trust me,it hard to live up to ppls expectation..what more a moms expectation..

That got me to think,when i get married..whats the best thing to do for me?i thought about it hard n i still have to agree withthe fact that i would rather hve my own place with my dear..there,in our own place,we can do anything we want to w/o worrying being judge n all dat..we can mess the house if we want to, not wash the dishes if we are tired n even pile the laundry and wash it when we are free.. She on the other hand wouldnt have to live up to any expectations and free from the pressure usually posed by mother in laws..thats my stand to this matter..furtermore, she can do up the place according to her style.

but should things dont realie go the way we planned n we have to stay at either place, i wouldnt mind staying at her place longer..i supposed guys generally wont have much problem with their in laws?n gurls would be more comfortable in their own place plus they are more comfy $with their own family..

like what Feroz and RJ said, whatever we do after married, we always have to try and take care the feelings of both sides..in laws plus our wife n i agree to that..

anyway,after thinkin and analysing evrything, i still would opt to have my own place. Heard that its realie realie hard. FEroz, RJ,Dave and atul did talk about how hard it is to get a place either by walk in or balloting in the HDB. Well have to start early on that.so been going to the HDB website to just take a look.

ACtually, im glad that the guys talked about it the other day.it gives an in sight of whats to come when you are married and how to plan things n all that. LIke how they said, you wont know how it feels until you go thru it. IF in the past we were talkin about homeworks, mcm mane nak copy in test...now..its different.how we all grew up...haha.

anyway, i hope the best for evryone in their journey in life. As a frd and knowing the guyd for 14 yrs plus, im glad that we are all stil together and talks about things.

to you guys: Hope this frdship will never end. Thanks for being my bros.
to my dear: i been thinkin a lot and we will get our own place.I think its the best for us.i love you.

and to other: well, enjoy the day when u are reading this.hope it gave some useful insights.

Take care ya all.

Space out,

me

2008-04-27T11:46:00.000+08:00

TItle: Blogspot vs multiply..

Have been a blogspot user for yrs now..if u guys are wondering why i never changed my skin or changed the outlook of my site..answer is simple...its hard to do so in blogspot..I wrote the settings myself with a book at the site..rite now, i totally forgot how to do it again n it would be "leceh" to learn it all oveer again..buku pub dah hilang...

Anyway, my dear arfah is a multiply user..yeah..its on the link over on the right..n im amazed how easy multiply is plus its features available for users..nak upload photo punya lah senang..n nak tukar the skin pun senang gilerrrr....ah ah...gileerrr.

n my sources oso say that ade orng blogspot punya blogger ni pun switch side..haizz.traitor...n ade hati lagi ajak kita join mulitply..kalau terbaca n terasa sorie eh YAS...

i understand why one would switch to multiply anyways..

so making some basic comparison of loading photos, reorganising albums, changing of skin...i have to admit that mulitply does it much better..muliply would beat blogspot on in this basic area...

anyway, whateva the outcome...i love my blog ndun think would switch to muliply..haha.if i were to switch.it means blogspot gets too complicated to use...
furthermore, its my hard work u noe..hah..

ok so any bloggers reading this..u can agree or disagree to what i said above..but personally experiencing it..multiply deserves its applause..

yeah...n as im writing this..my dear is rite beside me..shes the "YEAH MULTIPLY..GO MULIPLY n MULITPLY ROCKS.."...well..we all have our own opinion...feel free to agree and disagree ya peeps..n to you dear..OK OK..MULITPLY BAGOSSS...JUST LIKE JUrong west!!!!!SUME ADE...U WIN!I LOVE YOU..x X X

Space out..

Me

2008-04-25T12:46:00.000+08:00

Title: The O show..

I dont realie listen to the radio during office hour..when i have the time..i dont realie like t0 listen to RIA from 3-4pm..this show with Fiza-O call "Gurlfriend"...back then when i accidentally tune in to the channel..they would always be talking about how bad guys are..its like a channel where ladies,gurls,women..or what we say.."kaum hawa"...wld talk about the things they dont like about their partners..i remember complaining to my mom (dat was zaman KnS..keje mlm).. saying.."asyik2 kutuk pasal lelaki"..haha..n my mom would say "dgr aje..asal sensitive sgt?"...i guess it was the way these ladies complained about their partner..

However, was in HOtel empat musim.."4 seasons hotel" just now where all the back office staff were malays..rata2 melayu. n they were tuning in to Gurlfrd..just now topic was about bad tempered guys would abuse their partners..n so all these ladies called in or msg Fiza to tell their stories..ade yng kena tumbuk sampai pecah gigi pun ade...all bcos the guy thought that the gurl was having some scandal...listen to it kind of remind meof two ppl i know..no names shall be mentioned as they are under age..lol..kidding on dat..just no names..dats all...

if u guys know person no1..keep it to urself...she got kicked at her stomach n punched on her face when she called us to help..me, lan,kai all went down to help n last2 duduk pat jurong entertainment centre punya KFC....yeah..dunnoe what happened to person im talkin about as that person dont seem to be able to decide...to the point where we ll got tired of advising that person...worst still..when that person bumped into us...she would ignore us even after we helped her few times..anyway, an advise would be...pls dont think with your heart but use ur brain..use ur brain...haha....o well..kai saw that person at woodlands sometime back n said that "dah mcm minah drug"..dunnoe how tru that is..but whateva it is...i got no comment....

the 2nd person that i know experience such incidents ..(no name be mentioned..signed the confidentiality form) all i can say when that person talks about that guy is that i gues hes another coward...i dunnoe.i dont realie respect guys that hit a woman..simple as that..my dad would wake up from the grave n slap me if he finds out i ever do that..well..this 2nd person hates the ex -bf soo much..so much to the core... that she keep on saying "kalau nampak dia...pin him to the wall n rembat dia cukup2 sampai muka pecah"....anyway...she left her ex...n u can see the difference in the 2 story...so whats the moral?...anyone????.....

scroll down for the answer...

the moral is..."USE YOUR BRAIN!USE YOUR BRAIN!!"...

i was kidding...im no counseller.(is that how it is spelt?..makin tua makin WOLS..)spell dat backwords...

anyway for my lady frds out there..when such thing happen..do the right thing..if u've tried but hes still the same...do whats best for yourself..n for guys...listen 1st to the other person explanation..from what i heard from the radio just now..most are due to misunderstandings..anyway...the shocking thing is after listen to the O show couple of times..plus recommended by my sayang...(she always msg..dgr ria!) i think yeah...O show is not so bad...lol...n i even sent a msg to FIZA the other day...lol....OOOOOOOOOOOO....

ciao all....
shout outs to all..

to yuhua guys: jumpa pat fico! dont bubble2 like last week..
to my dear: i love when you drop those "i love you" out of the blue..." you IS my gurlfrd!".lol..
to kai: amcm reservist?..lol..
to the rest: guess "enjoyS" ur day when u read this...

space out...

me

2008-04-21T15:45:00.000+08:00

Title: My dear @ work

Orites..i know the same qns that you guys been asking me.." eh dan, your gf work as wat ah?"...okay..shes not the stereotype office lady that some of you think..Shes in the QA/QC department in an oil and gas company...the pictures will speak for itself..check it out ya...

Above: she in her coveralls..i always think she looks hot in those..

Above: The A-Team at work....

Above: O yeah..she has to climb great heights..

Below: That coverall and that smile..

Below: Under the hot sun...

There you go peeps..for all those that wonder what she does...behind that ladylike character that you always see her and know, is someone who works under the hot sun, climb great heights and works in a harsh all male environment...well..who says only guys do that?...but whatever it is.one think for sure...im proud of my dear and what she has achieved in the company..and after that hard days work..when she gets back-she would switch to her lady like mode...she serves me dinner, does her laundry,play with her nephew..does what other women do at home...and most importantly...she still gives me her love and care.

to you dear : I love you lots....:)

and to you guys..: haf a great day ahead wheneva your reading this..

space out all...

2008-04-01T07:15:00.000+08:00

Title: Stupidity..

in life, there are always consequenses to our actions..some may have immediate effect while some on the long run and some times we pay for our mistakes or stupidity in handling things..it cld be due to our inexperience, our ego or the things we try to keep from others knowing..some cld be due to our dilemma..

As a person,im no exception. i made mistakes that i hide or i have secrets that i dont expect ppl to know..the truth is nothing is ever forgotten..whatever that hurts or is too shameful for us..we try to forget it...but the imprint is always there n nothing is ever really forgotten..lets get it out on the open..so that dat "layered" me that ppl always say i am..doesnt follow me..

1) as much as i suceeded in life, my studies..im a failure when it comes to personal relationships..be it wif my family or frds..i was too proud to tell my dad that i loved him all the while bocs he threw me out of the house..i never forget that..i kept evrything inside till his last few breath before telling him i loved him..

personal wise..in the past, those that noe me very well..knows i never had a gf..too shame to admit..i always smile when ppl ask if that my gf.."just a frd"...dats what i would say..bcos its the truth ..but only ppl presumed n assumed that "its more than frd".

family wise..my bro hates me to some extend..i can never communicate with him or have a real talk with him in the past or since dad's gone..u try n try but we can never talk.he goes thru my gf--arfah, to talk to me..

2) siti arfah is my 1st gf..the one and only..the 1st..some1 that i can say is mine..some1 that makes me feel safe opening up to n telling her my weakness....she is my eye in telling me things that i dont see abt myself when i am too blind to see..the voice that tells me not to give up when things get bad..im learning the wonders of love thru this relationship..some thing i never felt past yrs..n im proud to call her my girl, my bestfrd, my partner and my lover..

3)as a leader, when ppl c you as capable..i hide behind my weakeness, lie abt dat weakness-- afraid they would c me as incapable..but i forgot that lying abt it might hurt ppl that we loved unintentionally or directly when truth are known..when i fail, i tell "im ok" to others--- shameful to admit defeat that i have to hide..

4) i still cry when i go to the grave, regrets?.maybei cry alone..not in front of my family..i cried in the toilet when he passed away..something ppl or my family members dont noe..2 yrs..n the hurt of losing him is still there..

enuff said for today..im not feeling too good again..this feverish feeling comes and goes past weeks..b4 i end...piece of advice...

i just want to say that even small things matter at times..things we ignored or might not seem impt to us might be impt to our loved ones..and when you know that you are wrong..admit, apologise and never repeat the same mistakes again..

to all: take care wheneva you are reading it..
to my dear:i love you n you heart is my home..

space out all..

me

2008-03-25T08:12:00.000+08:00

Title:A lil Prayer...

I dont usually blog twice in a day..just for those who needs some light or hope...heres a prayer that i always keep close to heart.. Its the serenity prayer...somehow it gives some hope or courage..there will always be some things that are beyond our control..things we can't change..they say prayer is a way of expressing ourselves in plea to smthin thats much bigger..in prayers we realise how vulnerable, small we are and there is always smthin much bigger out there...

"god, grant me the serenity to accept things i cannot change; courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference."

Amin..

2008-03-24T03:10:00.000+08:00

Title: 2008 ( a lil wordy for a comeback!)

left: dancing at atuls wedding.

left: me n my dear

left: i luv dat smile

Hey all,

yup, I know that i havent blogged a longggggggggggggg time..i try to be active this time round ya..sure some are wondering where i've been and whats new..well..heres a glimpse..

March 2008...ok..yesterday was my bro ,atuls wedding...only got a few pix from my dear wich i will upload at the end of this blog..wonderful wedding, nice reception, ring exhange ceremony...its like how you see it in the movies..

work been ok..waiting for better offer maybe? my frd kevin did offer me smthin that is diff from our usual work..finance industry in short..still considering it...

moms been good..i been keeping the family together n think im doing a good job to it..am i?lol..yes i am..im sure dad would be smiling the way things are in the family...

o yeah...Im an uncle!!!..got a nephew on 26th january 2008..Harun bin Effendi..Thomson Medical...i post pix of him later in the blog...cries a lot though..n pandai mintak dokong..lol..

o yeah..gonna make sure i be his fav uncle..haha

last n not least me n my dear, arfah, we are good.. cant wait for the day on june...;) i love her a lot n i want evryone to know that..i appreciate her standing by me all these times..for being there to always tell me things gonna be ok..I never thought that i would find love..like the saying goes..you find love when you least expect or in the most strangest places.a "short" note for her..

to my dear,

thank you for evrything..i might say the same words over and over again..n dats bcos i can never thank you enuff..you dont know what your presence means and how you filled up those empty spaces inside..you filled it up and coloured it wif the love, care, faith and concern..and i learnt all that from loving n being loved by you dear... thank you sooo much...

luv

me...

to all ... alil shout outs to all my frdss....

to atul: congrats!!!!!! wishing you a blissful marriage always...

to azlan n rohaya: waiting for both of your turn..

to dave n jotty: dave!!congrats as well on your engagement!!!

kai n yas : you two i wish you a happy n lastful relationship...

aliffy n lin: crazy plus crazy couple you guys are..

honestly guys..how we all grew up..from those shorts n playing soccer to watchin one by one getting married...frd always ya!

n last n not least again..to my dear,arfah..i pray we both go to where atul, asri n faz have gone to...i luv you lots..x x x

to others,

space out ya...

2007-12-18T11:20:00.000+08:00

Title: 1-0..

Arghh..dont you just hate it when Liverpool attacks and attacks and again Man U scores...

space out..

me

2007-12-15T20:09:00.000+08:00

Title: WAy back into luv...

i havent written anything for a long time..truthfully..i dont need to blog and express myself here as much as i have to back then...those that know me would know why..

I didnt expect things to turn out this way this year...maybe the saying of unexpected things do happen is true...who would have thought a simple smile, a simple line "u look familiar" and a simple qns " would you like to have coffee?" ... would turn out into smthin the best things for the year.....

for those that are happy for me..thank you.Yeap...shes amazing in her own ways though i never talked abt it soo much to ppl..im more more settle with her in my life...the things she do,way she cares and many more..Lots of things to her may go un-noticed..all i actually keep in inside and its the things i would look back when we both run into troubled waters...

A lil thing abt her...

she has a diary that she writes where we go and what we did..

she rubs her nose 3 times when its cold..

When she gets her favourite ice-cream, its like i am is invisible..

She watches scary movies but only to scare herself to bed at nite imagining things..

she only says those 3 words when she means them..

n many more..

im bad with words when it comes to these things..at times i do feel like a lousy bf..i said wrong things or can be a lil clumsy...its hard to tell someone what u feel abt them...whatever wrong words i said to or words that she never hears..

to you,im sorie and thank you for loving me..luv you lots dear.

me.